Saying Yes: Why I Decided to Get Married (2 min read)

The past few posts have been about decision-making. Continuing the theme, I've reflected on some of my own decisions. Author Ben Shapiro says the two biggest decisions you'll make are who to marry and if you'll have children. My wife and I married five years ago, and we welcomed our first child last July. So today, I share my thoughts about getting married.

The percentage of married men in the U.S. has dropped steadily over 70 years. Unfortunately, I do not have a factual explanation for why we're seeing this drop in marriage rates. Nonetheless, in light of its decline, I'll explain why I think it's essential to reverse the trend: Marriage is the foundational relationship for institutionalizing unity between each other. The security that married couples offer each other gives support when we stagger, stumble, and stretch towards individual spiritual growth.

I want to make it clear that the following reasons for marriage below start from a place of growth over happiness, and I will leave the fairy tales and pursuit of passion for Hollywood actors and jewelry store commercials. So, let's now get into some of my specific reasons for getting married:    

1.) It was ridiculous that we weren't married. My now wife and I were friends for six years and dated for four. Even a lady at Cracker Barrel told me I needed to move.

2.) I had complete trust in my now-wife. I couldn't trust her any more and realized I couldn't ask for anything more in a forever partner.

3.) I wanted kids & data is clear that kids do better in a two-parent household.

4.) I had to close all exit points. Relationships are complicated. You'll inevitably consider opting out. However, raising the stakes of an exit makes it more likely you'll stay to work it out or be miserable. My wife and I prefer to work it out.

5.) Marriage honed my focus. Saying "yes" to one person ruled out all others. Committing yourself to another person who does the same shrinks your perceived universe to a manageable level in terms of long-term planning and relationships.

And of course, this is only half the story. No matter how reasonable or impactful the reasons above are to me, my now-wife still had to say "yes" also. I'm forever grateful she did.